• Dr. K

Que the social skills

Have you ever been in the middle of something and someone comes into your space, can see that you are not mindlessly scrolling on your phone, and proceed to engage with you in some meaningless banter? Whatever happened to people being able to pick up on social ques. I am a big social observer, and maybe because I have a terminal degree in it, or maybe because I am actively aware of what is going on around me, and it drives me wild that people cannot see when someone is not ready to engage with them. You would think that as sensitive as our society has become that people will really hone in on these ques, and make themselves more aware of their audience. You get better results from people who are paying attention to what you are saying rather than being annoyed that you entered their space, didn't ask if they had a minute, and began to talk about whatever it is that you wanted to share. I can't count on one hand the number of times someone has come into my space and done this and I heard nothing they said because I kept thinking "are you friggen kidding me? Tell me you see me deep in this book, or laptop, or whatever else I am doing" I sit there the whole time judging them, yep, judging them on how poor their social skills are. I am a firm believer that I cannot complain about people and their behavior if I do not do at least one thing to correct it. Rather than sitting by judging folks on their poor interactions with me, now, I challenge myself to say "Hey, I need to cut you off quickly because I am in the middle of something." More often than not that is met with a "oops. Sorry, I didn't realize" which only makes me want to say "How did you not realize?" That will only open Pandora's box for me, so I choose not. There are still rare occasions where they will say "my fault, Ill wrap up quickly." Ummm NO that is not the point. I don't need you to talk quicker, I need you to shut up, leave my space, and think harder before coming in next time.

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